Monday we had a situation in the toddler room. One little girl said “oh shit” and by the end of the day we had a group of tiny sailors saying “oh shit” and giggling. We decided to ignore it completely and by the next day the sailors had been replaced by charming toddlers again, at least in the center. At home was another story.
Thursday morning a mother confronted me to ask if anyone had been using bad language around the children. I was going to tell her the “oh shit” story but she interrupted me to say her daughter had picked up the phrase “god damn” which we take a little more seriously because it is more offensive, in my opinion. I let her know that she could be confident that neither myself nor my employees used that language around the children. We say a lot of interesting things during the day in place of swear words but we do not swear. I thought the case was closed until her husband called me on his lunch break to give me an earful, an earful of swear words, that is. He said “god damn” almost every other sentence so I felt it was time to explain that their darling daughter was the culprit behind the “oh shit” fiasco on Monday. He paused for a moment before admitting his wife had said “oh shit” when she dropped bleach that weekend. this doesn’t shock or surprise or bother me. I know we all say a lot worse in our homes at times and our children and their sweet ears will recover.
Her father was embarassed and felt awful and her mother looked absolutely terrified to drop her off this morning. This is completely unnecessary and I hope they get over it soon. We want them to feel comfortable with us.
I’m telling you this story because in over 20 years of childcare I have been blamed for cussing, diaper rash, sunburns, mean names, rude phrases and any number of unpleasant habits or conditions. I had a mother blame me for her child’s weight problem because my menu said I served cookies. We had animal crackers or vanilla wafers once a week and called it cookies because it made the kids happy. Happy, not fat. (A cookie or two at daycare will not make your kids fat. McDonald’s every night for dinner will, though.) Every childcare provider I know has been at the wrong end of a pointed finger more times than they can count.
I’m just asking, perhaps cautioning, that you first examine your own lifestyle and your own habits before you point at me. If you always change your child the moment they wet and say fudge and fiddlesticks instead of their counterparts and you can absolutely 100% assure me that your child has not heard a sibling, grandparent, cartoon character or stranger in the mall say or do the particular habit you are concerned about then I am willing to consider that possibly my employee slipped up.
We don’t slip up on diaper changes. We have a schedule. Your child gets changed regularly in daycare even if they aren’t wet and more if they are prone to BMs outside of regular changing times. We use the ointment you provide.
If your child is hurt in my care you can blame me for that but only if they have never been hurt in your care and if you are certain they never will be hurt in your care. Can you control that? Then don’t blame me that I cannot control that.
We’re all in this together, let’s act that way.
Two Bitchy Babysitters 